Watch Those Orifices

Something I've noticed lately with prescription pills I've been getting (and I've been needing way too many of late) is the direction to take "by mouth." It made me wonder just how many folks have been taking these things by, um, . . . let's just say by other methods -- but how many that it became necessary to put this info on the bottle.

Granted, I know there are certain things you shove into an orifice other than your mouth (I was thinking nasal spray, what were you thinking?) but I personally would always err to the idea that should some medicine go somewhere other than my mouth the directions might point it out. Given the additional info now on the bottles, I assume this isn't the case with everyone.

"So, Mr. Jones, how's that infection?"

"It doesn't seem to be any better, Doc."

"Hmm. Did you miss any of the antibiotic pills?"

"Nope. Took 'em at 10 am and 10 pm, just like clockwork every day. And just between you and me, Doc, in the little stall we have at work it was sometimes tough to shove 'em up my rear."

"I think I might see the problem."

I'll leave you folks with a piece of advice, one that has stood me well: prior to popping anything into an orifice, if directions are not specific call and ask. A mistake in either direction would be embarrassing.